Damn Hadedah!!


Some days I wish I had a shotgun
So I could shoot a Hadedah in the face
Qwaah! QWAAH! QWAAH! as early as 6am
And when I try to shoo you, you still won’t flyaway

I hope they develop a show called
“South Africa’s next choir of birds”
And they have the loveliest birds
With the most charming morning chirps

Then a Hadedah walks into the audition room
And he stands there looking awkward and gloom
Then “Qwaah! QWAAH” and the audience doses the biggest ever barrage of BOO!!
And the judges slay you with the most colourful vocabulary
“I’m sorry Hadedah, that’s an unequivocal NO from me”
Then maybe the whole species is embarrassed to extinction, clearly I haven’t thought this through

See I think your wings are majestic and all
But I’d like you better if you shut the f*ck up
Hadedah ibis don’t do this so early
Or I’ll hunt you down and say you taste like chicken.

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