While I find it incredibly adorable that the French words for boyfriend/girlfriend are petit ami/petite ami, this also brings a different context to that scene from scarface when Tony said “Say hello to my little friend!”
Ridiculous thoughts #47: Maternal snakes
It’s probably a good thing that reptiles don’t care for their young, otherwise snake bite numbers would be through the roof! Yikes! Can you imagine dealing with an overbearing mother snake? Oh… I guess the Kardashians deal with that everyday
Ridiculous thoughts #46: Misheard Lyrics
Mishearing lyrics can really change your experience of a song. I was highly disappointed when I found out Eminem’s lose yourself wasn’t about a man’s struggle with an eating disorder… Palms are sweaty, knees weak, I’m so heavy, vomit on this sweater already, mom’s spaghetti
Ridiculous thoughts #45: Televangelists
When you really think about it, aren’t televangelists just onlyfans for religious people? 🤔
Ridiculous thoughts #44: Island Life
I find it funny when people who break up from long term relationships act like they are about that single life, like… “I don’t need anyone” and “I’m fine being on my own”… Naaaaah fam, don’t act like you’re about this island life… You’re a tourist here, you’re one bad date away from calling your ex and three good dates away from saying you think you’re ready to fall in love again, posting memes about healing and allowing yourself to be happy again… Calm yourself down, drink your mojitos, take some selfies, sing some karaoke, make some bad decisions and we’ll see you next summer when you feel like you need to “reconnect with yourself again” 😘
Ridiculous thoughts #43: Acupuncture
My biggest fear with acupuncture is sneezing with a body full of needles and killing everyone in the room
Ridiculous thoughts #42: Lays chips
I recently found out that the reasons lays chips has so much “air” is to keep the chips cushioned and protected, otherwise you’d just get a packet of powdered chips, also the air is actually nitrogen which keeps the chips fresh… All this while I’ve been complaining about buying 30% air when I’m fact I’ve been getting my money’s worth of chips but with free nitrogen and extra plastic to package it all… Lays doesn’t get enough credit for giving the world exactly what it needs, more nitrogen for the atmosphere, more plastic for the oceans and most of all, a bag of fresh, intact, crispy cholesterol 👌🏾
Ridiculous thoughts #41: Anxiety
One of the things about dealing with anxiety is that your brain starts emotionally experiencing scenarios that are not relevant yet, you worry about things that are weeks or months in the future and it can sometimes require the strongest Will to keep it from consuming you. I guess one way to put it is, we’re still in mid July but I’m already in an entanglement with August
Ridiculous thoughts #40: Mask on
I know it’s silly to say but having to wear a mask is getting to me, like 40% of my charm is my winning smile, I can’t live my life on a C grade, I’m better than that 😷
Ridiculous thoughts #39: Status wars
There’s a war going on people! A war I tell you! A war between not two but THREE factions in society, the single, the couples and people with kids. I’ve seen shots fired many a time in these streets. Singles and couples fired the first shots, “how does it feel to be stuck with your lil gremlin 24/7? ” Ooof! The couples fired, “how does it feel to be horny and alone bitch!”, the singles replied “we’re just taking the time to work on ourselves okay!”
But you know who wins in all of this? Teachers… They’re like, “here’s the coursework I was supposed to teach them, see if you can do it, have fun and think before you come talking shit at the next PTA meeting okay? Mwah!”
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