Only in this light

On that day I remember you said gleefully
“This is how I want you to remember me
In this light
Full and bright
With this headrush
And dopamine surge
Swimming in our brains
With the taste of pancakes
And strawberries swirling in our mouths
And syrup
Never forget the syrup
And may it get sweeter with every recall”


I recall you smelt of baby powder and lavender
My mind echoing your distant laughter
And truly that’s exactly how I remember you
In the glow
Stuck in time
Till we meet again


While I hold a slice of you in my mind
Swirling in drops of syrup and sunshine
Wherever you may be
I just hope you are happy
And naked
And free
Like you always wanted to be
Like you deserve to be



Dad, can you tell me the story of how you met my mum?
Oh, sweetie, I told you that story already
But I want to hear it again
I’ll tell you again when you’re a little older
But I AM older
Look dear…
*Sigh* Okay…
It was on the street I used to live
After the heat of the war,
After the bombs fell and bullets tore
Through flesh and bricks
And ricochets made you feel
Like those extra fractions of a sec
Were the most substantial you’ve ever felt

I emerged from a hole the size of my soul
Covered in blood and coal
My ears still ringing and my left eye shut
And I swear I saw a ghost point me to a spot
So I followed… And oh my… Oh…
There you were
All that was left
Bathed in the dim light
Within the dust
And rubble
And ruins
Born of the moment
The first sign of good
Of beauty
Clutched in her still arms
She could barely open her wide feeble eyes

As she laboured to breathe these words out of her mouth
She’s yours…” she said
“Wait don’t we need background checks or adoption papers or something?”
“I mean, could be a psycho or a creep or Kanye West…”
She’s yours…” she whispered
Then a rare silence descended….
Followed by the realisation
That this was all that was left
Alas, the war gave me an unexpected gift
You… Agape